I often get questions and concerns about my seemingly random extended absences from the internet. This is something that I usually want to address, but create a video or song instead and reappear that way. I guess this post is a way to tackle that question more directly

I love creating and find so much enjoyment in the process of making videos and music, but try to strike a balance with the life behind the spectacle. It’s been over 10 years since I started GothCast and even longer for making music and I’m not often a retrospective type of individual, but I’ll put that aside to reflect here. It’s been quite a decade, filled with great moments and some creative work that I am truly proud of, but there have been many moments of sadness as well. Several deaths, health issues, mental and physical struggles. I don’t tend to “pull back the curtain” for content creation, but have a small bit from time to time. I never had the most stable life situation growing up and unfortunately I did carry a huge part of that into my own continued life, but the great thing about life is we often have the opportunity to recognize these things and find what works best for us as we forge a better life for ourselves.

I’ve had several intense periods of doubt during my time making the show, music, or really anything creative. A few times to the point where I thought I would never make new content again. Really just getting way into my own head combined with intense stress. I’m not saying I’ve completely resolved any of these particular barriers, but I am at least more aware of what causes them than I previously was and how I can address them as they appear. It sounds crazy to me because there is so much positivity that has sprung up from all over the world. I read every email and comment and so many times people share how much the show means to them. Like many an artist, I have trouble looking beyond my own eyes to see as I hone in on what I see as flaws and struggle to see the bigger picture. I’ve tried to be better about that and I’m always appreciative of anyone who’s ever been a fan. In fact, the sheer amount of positivity is astounding to me. That’s not even bringing up the amazing people I’ve collaborated with over the years who have made some absolutely great content.

This is all to say that I am working on a few things that should be released soon, but I’ve been focusing on mostly behind the scenes work on myself. It’s something I’ve done several times over the years, but approached very differently in recent times and actually discovered a whole new side to explore. That doesn’t mean I’ve been completely off the grid with the new Dr.Sanders EP Gremlins being released on Halloween and a plethora of videos I’ve been picking at during the last year.

This is becoming even more of ramble than usual, so I’ll wrap this up. The world is full of both light and shadows in the same way our minds can be, but in many ways that’s what makes life and people what we are. I don’t know if this is supposed to be motivating or not, but it’s really just what I’ve experienced over a decade behind the scenes. Stay Spooky.
-Dr.Sanders